3 Reasons Why Yours Kids Will Never Come to Church After High School

In student ministry you get to see all sorts of different stories. Stories that break your heart and stories that energize you like nothing else can. But there is one constant in student ministry that is undeniable, something happens after high school. Statistics are all over the place but the average says that about 75% of high school student in church will leave the church after high school, CRAZY!!! Whys is that? Here is what I have experienced that causes this.

1- They don't know how to take it out of the room. I sit with students every week and pour into them the Word of God, and each week there is a feeling that often much of that is left in the room. I am working harder then ever to try and walk students through how to take what they learn from the Word of God out into their world.

2- They have no evidence. Students need to see an example that shows them not only how to do it but thats its possible and worth it. We can't sit in church and talk about people who have died for the gospel and sing songs about how great God is and then go back into a home where money, school, and sports are all elevated above the gospel. That doesn't makes sense, and makes a student feel like the gospel is a trinket or just a little saying for Sunday mornings. As a parent I want the gospel to make a difference in my home and let my children see how powerful it is.

3 - They aren't invited. I can easily get caught off track and start working on building a program or event that might attract a bunch of students and leave the church behind me. You can see it in so many places that we try an build community, community, community. Here is what happens with an only community driven ministry. You get a bunch of kids with no grounding, they go off to college, and because no one badgers them to come to church in two week, they fall off and are blown away to never return.

I hate it when i see weak seniors go off to college with no idea what is going to happen to them in the first few weeks of college. At some point we need to lead by example for students and show them that grades are not as important as the gospel, that sports are not as important as the gospel, that family is not as important as the gospel. Either this gospel is worth every bit of our lives and nothing less or it is worth nothing and should be thrown away. Choose.

3 Things I Learned Last Night at Fusion

Last night as Fusion I preached a message that I believe was one of the most important messages for our student ministry. We talked about John 8:1-12 - the story of the woman at the well.

We ended with two questions: Are you kneeling? or Do you have rocks in your hands? The picture of a woman enslaved in sin thrown to the ground and a Pharisees and scribes standing tall ready to cast judgment is what we had in mind. Either I kneel next to those that are hurting, suffering, lonely, and afraid in this world or I stand opposed to them with rocks in my hands.

In the midst of spreaking that message, God taught me 3 things.

1- I love these students. I am so committed to being a voice for these students that living a life for Jesus Christ is the best decision they could make and will enable them to bypass so much junk in this world. I love the opportunity to hang out with them each week and see them in their schools and hear about all they are doing. I realized as I spoke that I am really passionate about this and it is because of my love for them.

2 - This generation is being attacked. This generation is being pulled in so many different directions and we are hopeless to do anything about it unless we are praying for and moving in step with God. This culture that they are surrounded in is selfish and the only way to step out of that is to die to self and live in Christ.

3 - It has to be more than sitting and listening. Church is important and God has blessed the process of proclaiming the Word boldly. But this generation needs to see it and be lead by the hand into the truths of Scripture. I pray for every parent of these students to be filled with courage and faith to do the difficult thing and do what needs to be done.

I love these students and I believe that God is going to do an incredible thing in this student ministry as we see students deny themselves and their own desires and begin to care more about what God thinks about them than what others think about them.

THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

A Question for Each Day

One thing that I have learned about my self as parent is that I want my children to grow. I want them to be learning new things and new ways to do things for themselves that they once had to rely on me to do for them. I love seeing my children trying and being determined about something, whatever that something is. I know the specific things that my kids are learning to do and I love seeing them work at it. My middle child is learning to tie her shoes and she is so excited for the day that she finally has it down.

I really believe that the same is true as we are children of God. There are things that we are learning and I think it pleases God to see us working at it and staying determined. But the question is "What is it?"

What is that thing that God has you working on? What is the specific thing that God is allowing you to struggle through a little so that you can come out on the other side stronger.

Of course the goal is not independence from God but as a believer He desires you to be strong, bold, confident, etc...

Can you answer that question: What is the specific thing God is working on in your life? I promise you that if you can answer that you will free yourself from a lot of frustration.

Question for Parents

I have the awesome opportunity to work with some great parents. Here are 7 questions you need to be able to answer about your children.
1- Do you know what music your child is listening to?
2- Do you know who they would list as their top three friends?
3- Do you know what their biggest struggle is in living for Christ?
4- Do you know what they absolutely love to do?
5- Do you know that their dreams are?
6- Do you know their biggest fear?
7- Do you know what God is doing in their life?

Remember, as parents we have the opportunity and responsibility of discipling our children. That involved knowing them on a very deep level. God Bless.

Rules

There is a famous saying that Rules Without a Relationship equals a Rebellion. This is so true in many different cases. Whether it be with children and parents, citizens and a government, or students at a school, when people feel that they are being dealt with and ruled over when there is no care or compassion being shown to them, they rebel. In fact that is really the story of the United States, citizens were being taxed and not represented in the law making, so they rebelled.

I went to a very spiritually dark college and found that there were many people that had such an anger against God or the idea of God. They would write things, usually anonymous, about Jesus or God and I would wonder, "How can you be so mad at Jesus, I mean he healed people." It is the principle that stated above that fuels that type of anger. They feel that God has leveraged all these rules on them when they don't even have a relationship with Him.

It is for this reason that the church reaches out to not put forth the rules of God, but rather the love and relationship that He desires to have with his children. Now this doesn't mean that we need to condone disobedience or sin, but rather we don't fight it with boycotting or picketing. The world is lost and without God so of course they are selfish, thats all they have. We need to be loving and walk as Christ walked. He desperately loves his children and wants them to obey of course, but first He wants to have a relationship with them. He wants them to come to Him, not just obey.

Which Door To Choose

There are so many people that I personally know that struggle with figuring out what God's will is for their life. They are in high school, college, or career and sit in this pit of confusion because they are trying to figure out where to go and what to do all the while paralyzed by the fear of getting it all wrong.

I sat at that place for while before I moved to Texarkana to enter ministry so worried that I was being selfish or careless and would end up ruining my life and my family's life. I praise god for my pastor that walked me through the understanding that my life was created to give glory to Jesus. That was it. When it came down to it the kingdom of God does not hinge on my life. My purpose is to give glory to Him. Its not about me.

This can be so freeing to not only to hear but to live out. I was able to make decisions for myself and my family in confidence knowing that if I was surrendered to Jesus, the door was open, and I was all about giving Him glory, then I don't have to be freaked out about making a wrong turn and ending up in destruction.

God wants your life to GIVE HIM GLORY. Start where are right now - Give Him Glory for everything you do and everything you are. When decisions come up, choose, not for yourself but for His glory.

Ephesians 3:12 "In Him and through faith in Him we may approach Him in freedom and confidence."

What's the Goal

Im blown away that the idea of so many songs right now is to forget the consequences and just have fun. What a crappy idea.